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It's called Tinder, and it's a floating box on your i Phone that you can touch when you have no one to touch. She grew up the daughter of a minister and ran our house with a similar hand—not tyrannical but firm, the matriarch of two boys. She was almost always bad cop, an imposer of midnight curfews with that uncanny mom ability to be deep in sleep at P. And since she was, in fact, always right, we talked often. ' But you're ordering a person.'" (This is the problem with pushing your mom into a sea filled with fish who might want to have sex with you: At some point she's going to tell you what you already know, what will likely make you uncomfortable, something mom-ish along the lines of, "It's not always all about sex," she said. Intimacy is about being kind, being nice to somebody. There's a whole range of things that make you connected to somebody that has nothing to do with the act of sleeping together.""People used to meet in person somehow," my mom would later say, bemoaning one of the Internet's greater miracles: the ability to eliminate physical distance as a barrier to finding love.

To me, Tinder had always been merely something to do to pass the time, like a sexually charged version of Candy Crush. Bye.""This is your mother, calling again with your Tinder replies. She said, sure, she'd like to meet you for a drink. Bye."I wasn’t shocked my mom didn’t know what Molly was. I had pressing questions, like “Can I mix these antibiotics with vodka…No, like, As far as I can remember,* we talked about sex only once, when I was 22, freshly graduated from college, and the two of us were eating dinner on the back porch of my childhood home. "In a work setting where you see them all the time, or a club you belong to, or a school situation, or church... "My middle-aged mother is sitting at home on early mornings in Connecticut, using her phone to connect with her youngest son to send emojis (My mom! ) and talk about girlfriends and intimacy and all those things we'd never really talked about before.

We were running into problems: To a girl who had broken her ankle when she "partied too hard for America" over July 4th (her own description) and mentioned New York as a bad place for limited mobility, my mom responded with, "Correct on bad city for broken bone navigation." (She then also asked, "Are you athletic? (At least those weren't the same, I guess.) I offered a hug and a "Hi, nice to meet you," which was—unbeknownst to her—the first interaction we had ever exchanged. We had nothing in common outside of the fact that we both had eyes and jobs. If I asked her any of the things we had already "discussed" on Tinder previously, she made no mention of me bringing it up again here.

The plan all along was to tell her that it had actually been my mom talking to her, using my Tinder, but I very quickly had a crisis of conscience.

We're good where we are, and happy not to define it.

When I tried to explain that to my mom after I flew to the Bahamas to be with Katie over Christmas, she didn't really get it.

There's no dispatcher, call center, or membership site to join. 2257 All models appearing on this site are 18 years of age or older.

She'd arranged the meeting through Tinder, I heard my mom's voice in the back of my head from a few days earlier.

I’m 26, single, and four years removed from anything resembling a serious relationship.

So I did what any solo twenty-something guy would do: I installed Tinder on my mom’s phone and asked her to find me a date. It's a warm late-summer night in New York's West Village, and I'm on my way to rendezvous with a woman I met on the Internet.

I think you should get to know people."I'm 26 and single. When she was 26, my mom was married to her high school sweetheart, the man who took her to the prom in a goofy Volkswagen Beetle. That baby was my brother, who at 26 had already been with the woman he would marry for six years. She would call me as I was racing back, only to say, “You shouldn’t be talking on the phone while driving! Like most parents, she was on the receiving end of much teenage vitriol and almost none of the deserved gratitude.

But unlike when my mom was 26, there is now, quite literally, an app for this. My mom is 58, has short hair, stands a tiny five-foot-two, and takes no shit. That started to change when I went off to college and, with some perspective, realized I was stupid and she was smart; when I realized that all she cares about is ensuring that her children don’t fuck up too terribly, and that, since “playing N64 at Dan’s house” really means “stealing all of Dan’s dad’s beer,” sometimes it’s okay to say no—even if your moody teen thinks you’re a fascist. '"'s takedown piece about Tinder and today's hook-up culture, in which appears this appalling, almost-too-perfect-to-be-believable quote: "' It's like ordering Seamless,' says Dan, the investment banker, referring to the online food-delivery service.

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