Evening standard newspaper dating

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She has five more in a row, belts them all down, passes out dead drunk, and everybody in the bar fucks her.The next night, she walks into the bar, and says, "Bartender, give me a triple Jack Daniel's." He gives her a triple Jack Daniel's, and she belts it down.She has five more in a row, belts them all down, passes out dead drunk, and everybody in the bar fucks her again.The next night, she walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a triple Tequila." He says, "I thought you drank Jack Daniel's." She says, "Not any more.My first wish was that I always have the exact change in my pocket for anything I buy." The bartender says, "That's a great wish...better than asking for a million dollars. I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy." *** Mixed Drink A girl goes into a bar.

The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket.

" The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain." "So what happened that's so horrible? "Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left." "And then?

Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket." "Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad." "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied. " "Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her.

"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer said. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in ...

Some things you just can't explain." *** To Absent Brothers An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

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