Diary of a dating diva

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And she says if anyone has a problem with that they can feel free to call her lawyer, Clarence Darrow. You try downing a bottle of Barbies with a dry throat. I wouldn’t even have minded if it was spelled with a K.JANUARY 1Dear Diary: This diary is my Christmas gift from Melissa and Cooper and I’m more disappointed than I was on my wedding night when I found out that Edgar was half Chinese—and not the good half. I know, it’s Christmas season and we’re Jewish and we shouldn’t care about gifts, but if indeed we did kill Christ—and I’m not saying we did; for all we know he could have slipped and fallen onto that cross (maybe he was clumsy; maybe he drank)—then something’s got to ease the guilt. I’m way up there and I’m a gal on the go; Anne Frank was fifteen and that lazy bitch played the shut-in card for almost three years.Comedienne, Emmy Award–winning TV host, Tony-nominated actress, Grammy-winner (for her audiobook of Diary of a Mad Diva) and CEO, Joan Rivers was an icon of American culture, a bestselling author, Celebrity Apprentice winner, writer, producer, director, and savvy businesswoman who overcame great odds to reinvent herself time and time again. Network’s popular series Fashion Police, and starred with her daughter, Melissa, in their own weekly reality show, Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best? Her critically acclaimed documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work premiered in theaters nationwide and is available on DVD.Amongst all of her success, Joan’s most joyous triumph was being a mother and grandmother. Miss Rivers is, after all, 235 years old, and frequently mistakes her daughter, Melissa, for the actor Laurence Fishburne.

Miss Rivers does, however, believe that anyone who takes anything in this book seriously is an idiot.

This also inspired me to add drawings, poetry, stories and quotes to my diary instead of writing all the time.

Our friend's husband decided to make it an 80's extravaganza. Any excuse to get all dressed up like we did in high school is a good one. First, neither of us can figure out how in the hell we got our hair so BIG!

LOVE BITES, but this drink is smooth and satisfying.

WOMEN will beg you to POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME as you dazzle them in your ripped jeans and super hot mullet a la Joe Elliot and the boys.

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